Swimming lesson

Here is a concept. If one has a dependent variable that is "falling in love" and two independent variables "a perfect moment" and "the right person". Then one conducts an experiment and hopes that one will prove one's hypothesis. There are many participants, of course. They all give their opinions and their experiences and you merge them and mould them and adapt them to your experiment and you test and you test. There are those that state that the right person is all that is needed.

Then there are those that bet on the right moment. And then there is me and I think maybe it is neither. Maybe we get so far removed from the reality, from what we need and want that we never even know what we want to start with. In order to meet the right person, one surely must have the right moment. But what classify as a right person? Someone who shares the same interests, someone whose temperament is similar, someone that we get along with, someone that reads the same books, likes the same films and then we can have an easy life. I have tried to understand what am I running from and what I'd like to run towards for a while now and it is not that easy. The target is not one of those that awaits patiently, but is forever moving itself and it is sometimes unreachable, no matter how hard one tries to run.

When I was about 8, my beach ball was pushed by the wind far on the waves. I swam and swam after it and I could just about reach it and then it would fly away again, right there under my fingertips. It tormented me with how close it was and yet I was never going to reach it. My dad, seeing me struggle, jumped in and swam after the ball and caught it. His attempt looked effortless and easy, he knew what he was doing, just like me, yet was stronger and could get the ball without any real effort. This story serves as an analogy.

What seems easy to someone will be unreachable to another and there is no greater power that can make that more even. It contaminates one's results and undermines the experiment, making a mockery of it but it does, it does. I overheard someone's conversation once. The heartbroken was being told by someone that life is just like that. People may love you, love you 100% but their 100% will be only 60% on your scale of love and you will forever crave those 40%. Life is just like that.

I sometimes don't know if love should be complicated. For some it comes easy and they can swim after the ball and reach it just like that and others might always feel it just at their fingertips. I conclude this...there are circumstances no one can control but if swimming is to blame, learning how to do it better must be a start, surely.