That moment...

You know that moment, when you think you have it all sussed, you quickly calculate in your head all your experiences and engage your wisdom and you deduce and infer a conclusion that seems rational at the time, it fits, it makes you happy, it totally gets you and then, some time later, you realise you got it wrong.
Everything that you banked on suddenly crashes and you end up forever questioning your choices, analysing your feelings, calculating your decisions over and over again...

With time, it all fades, and you get to be yourself once again but you never forget the initial shock, the feeling you get in the pit of your stomach that tells you you're a fool, you made a mistake, you fucked up in a grand way...you never forget that no matter how much you want to. It becomes a part of you, your legacy. It shapes you, makes you wiser, becomes a part of your routine. It becomes who you are.

Thinking about such moments and if they truly make you more aware or just more complicated, more jaded, more insecure, more bitter, more selective in a bad way, I came to a conclusion that such things, however portentous and undeniably valuable, never truly save us from anything, because as well as being ominous, they are catalytic in nature and without them, nothing would ever happen.


Not sure what made me think of this particular thing...or more precisely, I am but I'm not going to tell...