How one single girl got Orla Kiely bag

How did the obsession with Orla Kiely actually start? Not sure, but it doesn't really matter all that much. I recall losing an e bay auction a while back on a orange leaf print one, which broke my heart. It still makes me angry to see people walking the streets of London with that particular bag. I have since found an Orla Kiely site, which provides bags that tell stories better than any colourful book. But bestsellers never come cheap and that is my damnation.
Anyhow, I digress... I fell in love with the pear bag the night Branwyn took me to a cardholder's evening in Liberty. It wasn't a love at first site though, it was more latent, attraction at first, which grew to reach unhealthy proportions.
But I was waiting patiently for sale after Christmas or sometimes after 2006...whatever. When I'm in love, time has no bounds.

But this story starts last Monday. Having broken down mentally over my central heating, and having acquired a flu of gigantic proportions (slight exaggeration present at this statement), I spent a day in bed under two duvets (30 tog combination), having fruit teas and feeling sorry for myself, occasionally trying to sleep, an activity disturbed by the fact that my neighbour's septic tank needed a makeover which included hydraulic pump and men that were removing parts of the road to do it.
By the evening I was cold, hungry (having survived on low fat trifles that Oli bought as a dessert, but which tasted like shit and the cream on top looked like shaving cream, even Oli admitted that when he had one...) and bored and thus I decided to see what could be found on e bay.
I was also enjoying a chat with Oli on our direct line (MSN messenger).
So conversation went something like this.
M: I am looking at Orla bags on e bay...there is that one I wanted for ages, with pears and one that is also blue but with leaves, which will probably be cheaper because the pears are this season's, they are both ending soon, I am waiting to bid, which one do you think I should have.
O: Fuck!
M: What happened?
O: ( not replying...just silence for 4 minutes...)
M: What's the matter? What? What happened?
O: Nothing, just found something
M: So what do you think, which one (sending him pictures of both...)
O: Should you be buying bags now that you have a boiler to fix?
M: The bag will make it all go away.
O: But you have no money.
M: Well, buying a bag will make me happy and forget about that.
O: Did you read the Metro stars today for Leo?
M: No, I've been in bed all day, why?
O: It said not to buy something expensive for a friend, you'll regret it.
M: But I'm buying it for myself... so which one do you think, pears or leaves? (now slightly pissed off with the lecture)
O: Pears. You'll regret buying the green one with leaves as it won't be pears.
M: But pear one is likely to be expensive, it is new collection...and basically I don't think it is justified, I mean they are made of material for tablecloths...
O: But you are paying for art...

In the meantime, the last seconds on auction happen and I always get outbid (damn the dial up...)
I give up after £70, I wasn't even sad, I knew it was too good to be true and I forget all about it.

By Wednesday, Oli comes round with scampi dinner and another low fat trifle and we end up watching Big Lebowsky and making a decision never to buy low fat desserts again. It is like low fat cheese...which burns when grilled on toast but does not melt and you end up saving 30 calories...hardly worth it.
Scooby heater on full blast....Oli exclaims after 5 hours that 'now the temperature in the room is safe enough for transporting cattle'.
We exchange gifts.
I can't wait to open mine. I did give him a hint that Pingu hot water bottle might come in handy and would find a good home with me, but the present is too small to contain Pingu.
I open it.
It is a plastic bag, one of those that one buys to put a present in, only mine does not contain the present.
But it has blue pears drawn on it with a permanent marker. I get the joke on Orla Kiely immediately but in the time of cold and plumbing misery I don't find it all that humorous.
Oli assures me that he placed the pears in the right places on the bag, he took the time to study it and he says he hopes that one serves me well till I get the real thing.
Then I realise there is a paper folded inside and I open it and it is a printed copy of the auction, with the Orla bag sitting provocatevely on the page.
At this point I lose it a little...
M: Are you taking the piss?
O: What do you mean?
M: You know that I lost the auction and I really love this bag...I mean, I get the joke with the bag and the pears, ha ha but this is brutal.
O: I wanted you to have it before you went away but you started bidding so I had to outbid you and now it won't come in time, sorry. I was going to buy it in the shop.
M: What? What are you talking about?
O: The bag.
M: What bag?
O: Pear bag.
M: You bought it?
O: Yes I thought you knew.
M: For me? (real tears forming...)
O: Yes. I don't wear bags myself, did you not look up who won the auction?
M: No, why would I? (to kill the lucky winner and steal the bag?)
O: And when I was teasing you on MSN that night with the star signs in Metro?
M: No. You are saying we were bidding against each other...?

So we had a bit of a cackle on the whole thing. Oli thought I knew he was buying it for me and was certain I knew after the auction but I never checked and the whole thing worked out so much better, like a splendid adventure.
But that is basically how one single girl finally got her one true love for Christmas.