Alpha vs Beta

" Darling, you are so bossy and determined, you will never find a husband", was what my mother used to say to me when I was little.
Despite that I managed to marry and divorce a reasonably nice man that loved me with such force and devotion that now I am finding it hard to settle for anything else plus whatever was missing that made it fall apart.

Having recently read an article by a husband of a prominent reporter, giving away the secrets of how to handle an alpha female, it made me think deep and hard about some of his points, which I consider not only chauvinistic but utterly inane as well as condenscending.
His advice was, in no particular order and what I can remember:
1.Never give in to her
2.Disagree with her often, challenge her opinions, tell her she is talking crap, they love it...
3.Don't answer questions about your whereabouts
4.Don't pay her compliments...
And other garbage of similar content...He also went to explain a bit about his relationship, how he was acting erratic and so on, but he knew she was not going to get rid of him because he was young, handsome and was giving her plenty of sex.
I can sort of get the sex reference, as someone who has had to live without it for a while, but still...
He also made a reference to beta males, the sensitive ones, the ones that listen and try to understand women and consider a relationship as 'us' rather than 'me and her', or in more general terms, 'us' (as in men) and 'them' (as in us, women).
What is a beta male anyway, the mere term is rather derogatory as in something of lesser value to an alpha male, and why is it so difficult to balance the relationship when the alpha-beta roles are reversed?
Having enjoyed years of decision making in my alpha-beta relationship, choosing furniture, carpets, wall colours, tiles...when my friends were arguing with their partners about similar issues...I hit the dead end. The power I enjoyed did not come cheap. With any position of power, one takes responsibility for the fall too.
And not having the experience of knowing how to rule, I suddenly found myself having to get everything done myself instead of successfully delegating duties.
But how much is that to do with him and how much was it to do with the dynamic we had, one I created equally by wanting to have control over everything?
Is a person always the same person with everyone, or are we a product of our own making as much as we are a product of others treating us in a certain manner, adapting all the time, however subliminally?
There are boundaries, and if we don't see them, is it not human to run free as far as we can?

One of my friends recently spoke how she always dates people she finds dull after a while. Having challenged her on that, asking why she seeks people like that when she knows the ensuing outcome, she admitted that with someone like herself, she would find life unbearable.
I fear that too, to a certain degree but equally I yearn to be with an equal, and I don't see that in terms of alpha-beta, alpha-alpha combinations.
Is beta male always an easy going guy that is co dependant and needy? Is alpha male always a good provider and someone that is strong?
Suicides among such men would prove otherwise.
Is it in the balance and what each one of us needs to get out of a relationship instead as well as how we position ourselves when it comes to living with or loving another?


To read the recipe for handling an alpha female is like reading 'The rules', a book which teaches women to manipulate men in order to be treated well and win a man.
But even if you do, do you really win a man or do you just win that particular game, and once that game bores him, he will seek entertainment somewhere else?