There's a Rato in the kitchen, what am I gonna do....???

It all started Friday night when we thought someone was trying to saw their way in from outside and after few minutes of blind panic and feeling of impending doom, it dawned on Ben and I that we are dealing with a bestial creature which has gotten stuck between the floor of the bathroom upstairs and a ceiling of the kitchen. By the power of deduction, we carefully listened and eliminated mice as it seems to be a lone creature and of a rather large proportions and we concluded that it could be a rat, squirrel or a possum. Out of the three possibilities, we eliminated squirrel simply because of their jovial nature and the fact that no self respecting squirrel would use a space provided for a drain pipe to get itself stuck in the modern house with concrete floors and it is unlikely it was a possum because they are not native to Britain. This left us with a rat, a creature that is known to not shy away from sewers. We named him Rato.

Rato found that there is a bit of plastic sticking in the space where he found himself, which is our kitchen light and he decided (probably also by the power of deduction...I hear rats are incredibly smart) that this ought to be a way out if only he would saw his way out. Sounding like he has serious tools with him, Rato set to work with a spring in his step, gnawing the plastic at a frantic rate, creating much racket in the process.

We banged on the ceiling trying to dissuade him but this made him stop for a while and then get back into it with more conviction that this is the smartest thing to do. Needless to say...as rats are nocturnal animals, Rato likes to sleep through the day, get up at 8pm, have some time to himself to unwind and start work when people go to bed, working hard all night and accomplishing fuck all by the morning. He did this two nights in the row now. If this was me, at this point I would think...OK, this is not actually working, maybe I ought to go the same way I came in, but no, not our Rato, he actually probably likes to finish what he started.

Having not slept for two nights, courtesy of the stupid rodent...and not being able to actually set the trap to kill it as it is impossible to get to that place without cutting a hole in the ceiling, Ben has come upon the idea that the best thing would be to keep quiet and when he starts gnawing, we pinpoint the exact place where the Rato is by listening carefully and drill a small hole underneath him, killing him at once. I, myself, think this is somewhat flawed and could easily go wrong.

The sad thing is, with such intelligence and determination, Rato is going to die a slow and painful death very soon and then decompose above our kitchen, something which I am particularly looking forward to, without us being able to dispose of him. That or accidently biting a power cable and electrocuting himself on the job, which would be welcomed if it would mean I would get to sleep tonight.

Anyone has a shotgun I can borrow?