OneStat.com

I was listening to Virgin radio the other day and one of the DJs was talking about his addiction to My Space.
Apparently, he would log on several times a day and check how many friends he has on there and who else added him as a friend.
The story ended with an anecdote about how this, seemingly harmless addiction can soon spiral into an abyss deeper than schizophrenia in no time...apparently, one of his 'friends', a girl of 16 he did not even know, left a somewhat bitchy comment. You know, you hit 16, you discover sarcasm, you have the need to annihilate etc...and he caught himself wanting to go to her profile and leave bad comments in retaliation, but then he rationalised and realised how juvenile it is. The blame soon fell to the subtle dangers of internet addiction.

My story is not all that different. It all started when Sammy created my website and added the power of 'One Stat'. At first I thought, it is only a small logo, what harm can that do me. It used to sit beneath the penguin that blinks. What many of you are not aware of is that One Stat had the power to tell you who browses your site and where from. What started as fun soon escalated into total madness after my then boyfriend left me.
I won't lie, there was solace in the fact that I could see he browsed me 10 times a day on a good day. I also used to get hits from random people through search engines and some would bookmark me and return.
All this feeds ego and as such makes you feel you are extremely cool.
But soon things turned for the worst. The mentioned boyfriend started making trips to my website less frequently and this ruined the fine egocentric balance I created. What was happening to me?
When things like that start happening, humans are extremely good at making excuses, offering explanations and I even pride myself on a rich imagination and eloquent nature. My justifications were 'he is struck with bad form of arthritis and only manages to use a computer (you know, fine dextrous movements) when he is high on morphine'...and that sort of things.
Sammy started complaining because I soon could not wait to get home, but instead I was badgering him at work, to check my stats. It took no time to totally derail, I needed hits through the day and since one often hides one's addictions from the world, I was not an anomaly in that. Mostly just Sammy saw my madness, and he was my dealer.

At home, I would always have it in the background and would refresh every 10 minutes. I would log on in British Library and check my stats.
It also became a tool with which to vet men. It would clearly show you who is keen as they would be the ones obsessively browsing in minute detail, page by page.
Soon I knew I had to stop. The power of stats was killing me and besides, the morphine shortages were also confusing me...
I told Sammy to remove the stats. I spent the last weekend with them melancholically hitting refresh and then they were gone.

It has now been a while without them. I think the worst is over but at one time, and I am not kidding, I was almost crazy. I was begging Sammy to re instate them, but Sammy stayed strong. I even tried to register for the stats myself but ignorance in IT matters soon put a stop to that and besides, apparently I am still registered but just haven't got the power anymore and Sammy was pulling the strings here. His new found power over me was making him act like a butch, lesbian psychiatric nurse.
And god knows I tried everything to bribe him. Emotional blackmail, threats, bribes...
Nothing cracked Sammy.

Don't think I haven't found alternative amelioration. I am now hooked on e bay. I am currently watching several Birkenstocks and Orla Kielys,have already sold several items and purchased a dvd and Orla Kiely purse, and this addiction is more expensive than the one before. Somebody take my computer away, please before I singlehandedly ruin the World...