The meek shall inherit the Earth.....

...so said Jesus to his disciples. For the rest of us that live in 2006, this is probably not the case. We all know what happens to that nice guy, to the person that feels that getting others to like them means having "Welcome" (now wipe your feet) written across their backs, to the woman that thinks a guy is capable of true intimacy on the first date...
It was one of my oldest friends, one that I went to primary school with that said recently that she always admired my ability to fight for what I wanted in my life, that it showed spirit...I did not agree so readily especially as we were taking an example from my distant past...that time when I was 14 and I stalked my first boyfriend for 18 months until he relented.
In my defence, I truly thought I would never love again and there was no question of doing nothing about it, I mean, come on...all my life mourning just one man...


Having a rich, sanguine temperament by nature, it does not take a lot to get me in that survival 'fight or flight' mode...I'll let you guess which one I tend to go for, but recently I have noticed a change in me.
I favour calmer approaches and aim to find the root of my discomfort rather than ameliorating the ills it provides.

Starbucks. Why do I love it so much? I am not a hard core drinker of coffee and I go for the accessories and the specific treatment they offer.
So why is it that whenever I order Frappuccino light opposite British Library, they have just run out of it?
Having to spend 3 days a week stuck in the highly academic environment full of stuck up researchers, my only pleasure is Starbucks across the road and having been told yesterday, yet again, they ran out of all the light options, I started questioning them how come they never have it, ever?
The girl behind the desk takes over from the guy that understands things on the board but little else, and explains that their ordering service takes place once a month and they ran out of it.
I am determined and I question the fact I can never ever get it, ever, any time of the month...
She cites supplier problems, apparently they have run out of it at their supplier. Clearly no fault of their own.
My point: how come I can get it in other Starbucks? I also casually ask her for the head office number to address this issue with them.
She disappears and comes back with a store manager who belts into rhetoric about suppliers too. I remain calm and reassure him that he is seeing this way to personally and that I simply wanted to write to the head office and address the supplier issue, this being something we could both benefit from as I tend to get results... (One year I complained to Tea Company about not producing blueberry fruit tea bags on their own, just in assorted pack, where I hated every other flavour. They promptly replied and started producing it. Shame I went off it by then.)
He is hesitant and I can see he has a problem with this and it is becoming increasingly difficult to persuade him that this is not a personal attack on him. I can understand why that is, since I can see him squirm under his lies.
So I insist on head office number.
He finally relents and walks off to fetch it, but comes back shortly with two vouchers for complimentary drinks of any size.
Now I feel bad, and that was not even my attention and I am making this clear to him, citing the fact I feel slightly bribed at this point and that getting complimentary stuff is not my attention, I simply want what they promise me....Frappuccino light.
The manager understands, he nods, but still offers the vouchers in an apologetic manner...almost begging me to take them.
I insist that was not the point of my complaint and that I feel uncomfortable taking this now.
Then he brainstorms and he comes up with a compromise:
"How about this..." he says: " You accept the vouchers and I make sure that from now on I have your drink."
"I can live with that.", I say, we shake hands, he goes about his business and I go back to Freud.

Ten minutes later, he comes up to me again, holding the carton of Frappuccino light mixture and says it has just been delivered and I can have it now....yeah...like I am gonna believe that. How about being honest and saying: sorry we were too disorganised to get it from the stockroom. Or just plain lazy. Or both.

But this got me thinking about how people that never state their dissatisfaction never get anywhere and that complaining is an art in itself. If you lose your cool, you get nowhere and it is really all in successful negotiation between two individuals.
That Equity theory isn't so dumb after all.
Not at all.